The guide to being a writer!:Vampire Knight style
by Madame Red
Summary: You wanna know how to be a great writer and be satisfied with your own story? And also get all those juicy reviews that we writer's love oh-so-much? This is just a simple step-by-step guide to do it all! -NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY- Crack fic.


You wanna know how to make a great and possibly the most fantastic Vampire Knight fan fiction story ever? :D

Yeah, I know you do. So that's why I'm here ;) Just follow these simple step's to creating the most spectacular story and maybe, just maybe, you'll be awarded for something!

(Probably not.)

**Warning: Possible randomness and stupidity intended. Watch out for humor that ****probably doesn't even make sense in anyway possible. (!!This guide is not to be taken seriously!!) This is almost like a crack fic.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own.**

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_**The guide to becoming a writer.**_

_**(Vampire Knight style):**_

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**STEP 1: How to write the perfect introduction without sounding stuck up.**

To write your "first" introduction, I suggest you start out with why you REALLY wanted to write this and finish off with some other crap that's not important.

_EX: _

_OMG! HI reviewers! This is like, my first freakin time writing a story lol I really wanted to write this cuz I know that my story will get SOOO many reviews cause I'm just that awesome!!! Oh and also, Kaname and Yuuki is like the most AWESOME pairing out there, cause I say so. So like DEAL with it. HAHA so like, that's all! ENJOY! Give lots and lot's of reviews pretty please? MUAHHH! LOVE YA ;D_

(FAIL.)

**STEP 2: Writing what's expected in 'your' story.**

Usually...there are some people, kind enough to tell us whether or not this is either romantic, violent, dramatic, etc. Of course, being smart(At least, I hope you are.), you would notice the rating. If it's rated K+, then it is probably family/friendship. And, if it's rated K-T, then there is a small chance of maybe teenage drama in there. But I highly doubt it. So let's just say it's friendship/Romance. Now, if we had, Rated: T, then you'd probably expect violence, Cuss words that are said in everday life when people are normally pissed off(OOPS! D:), and ROMANCE. Ok, if you're 18 or up, you can check out the 'M' rated stories. Which is FILLED with sexual content, violence, Lemons and/or Limes, action, cuss words, and....yeah. The GOOD stuff. (If you're a pervert.)

_EX:_

_Warning: Expect lot's and lot's and lot's and lot's and lot's(ten thousand years later) and finally, LOT's of make-out sessions! And very bad words. Oh, and naked people. EW._

**STEP 3: Showing the disclaimer.**

Now, to prove that you're not a copy cat, you should ALWAYS put an Disclaimer in the beginning. It shows that you are just a stupid fan with no life and spends most of your time typing on your computer. Oh, and also, it shows that you are no way associated with the actual anime or manga you currently writing about. And please, make sure you put the disclaimer. If you don't, the Fucking police is going to gang up on you and tackle you and you will probably be sued in court. SO, take my advice. Don't screw up.

_EX:_

_Disclaimer: Ok people, I did not freakin steal this. So Shut the F*** up._

**STEP 4: The title.**

Really? Is this even hard at all? All you have to do, really, is write the title before you really start writing.

_EX:_

_The life of K__aname and Yuuki._

_(A__nd for additional purposes, you can always write, "The life of Kaname and Yuuki: Behind the scene's!".)_

**STEP**** 5: The first part of your story. (The first few paragraphs)**

Ok, this is where writer's usually get stuck. You get this great idea in your head, but how do you write it down? This is how.

_EX:_

_It was a warm and sunny side up day and all was well in the life of a ,__ being blood-sucking and horrorifying creatures that enjoy the darkness, they, unfortunately, cannot stand the sun. So no. Today pretty much sucked. (HAHA SUCKED XP)_

_But, being indoors, Kaname and adorable little Yuuki were enjoying the moment while it still lasted. Having a full make-out session, it seemed the world, for them, stopped. So in other other words, they were in total bliss. _

_"I love you sooooo much Kaname-oniisama!" Yuuki said, excited and hyper, snuggling with Kaname's chest._

_"I love you too." Kaname replied back, not AS hyper._

_"I hope we can be together forever and ever!"_

_"......."_

_Oh, burn._

**STEP 6: Time to put in the OOC-ness. :D**

Every story is different. Whether you are having the same plot like the anime, but you just happen to have a twist at the end, to having the same characters, but it's all a whole different story line. I don't know. It's your story. I have nothing to do with it. But make sure, to not sound so "orginal", you add some ideas of your own into the plot. Like, some good old fashion OOC-ness. ;)

_EX:_

_Yuuki Kuran was happily walking down the streets of her nearby town, people unaware of what she REALLY is. As she just happened to find a store with low prices, she spotted Ruka. A noble, but also a trusted friend. She quickly ran to Ruka and shouted, "AHHH!! Ruka-chan! What are YOU doing her in daylight?!"_

_R__uka turned around slowly and raised an eyebrow. "I should be asking you the same thing..."_

_"Oh, well, I decided to ditch Onii-sama for a while and go shopping. On my OWN."_

_"GOOD HEAVENS?! Are you crazy?!?!? No offense.."Ruka shouted._

_"PSHHHH. NOOO! Like Onii-sama is ever gonna punish me or something...thats a laugh..."Yuuki blurted out._

_"I wouldn't be laughing....."she said and pointed behind Yuuki. _

_Yuuki stopped laughing. "Aw shit....he's behind me isn't he?" She sweatdropped._

_"Yes, I am." Kaname hissed._

_Ok now, we know Yuuki is in some deep shit, so what is she gonna do?_

_Yuuki stared at him. He stared at her._

_It was a staring contest. So ruka just decided to break the tension. "Umm.....should I go?"_

_Yuuki gave her the please-don't-go look._

_Kaname sighed. "No,"he started to say,"You're fine where you are. It's THIS one over here__ that shouldn't be here.....".__ He glared at Yuuki. (Well that's new.)_

_"Heheheh..."Yuuki muttered._

_"I thought i'd never do this to you, but...."he whispered._

_Then he picked Yuuki up by__ the waist and put her over his shoulder. And she kicked and screamed._

_"NOOOOOO!!!! YOU'L__L NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!!"she yelled out._

_"Technically...you're kind of dead."Ruka whispered._

_"Oh shut up."_

_"Well, thanks for keeping her company Ruka, at least she__ wasn't near any man...."he muttered the last word._

_"No problem,Kaname-sama."She bowed._

_"Have a nice day."_

_And with that, he started walking away from Ruka, with Yuuki in his arms, shouting out, "RUKA!!!! YOU TRAITOR!!!!"_

_He sighed. What is he gonna do with Yuuki?_

**STEP 7: Make some Lemonade.**

For older viewer's, that love to be pervert's, you probably know what a Lemon is.

_EX:_

_Kaname and Yuuki were covered in sweat. Breathing heavily and moaning each other's name in ectasy. "Oh my god, Yuuki you're so freaking tight..."Kaname groaned out loud. **(A/n: I'm not good at this stuff so...i'm only 13 for god's sake!)**_

_"Ahh....make me scream onii-sama..."Yuuki moaned._

_"I'm almost there...Y-yuuki..."Kaname said._

_"AHH!!"Yuuki screamed._

_**AND BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, YOU KNOW THE REST.**_

**STEP 8: Singing a duet.**

If your a real comedian, you'd like some singin' going on 'ight? Here is my stupid version of how it REALLY goes down.

_EX:_

_The chairman climbed on top of a tree, to get to__ Yuuki's dorm and sat by her window. He tapped on her window and waited for her to pay attention. She slowly looked at him, bewildered. "What the hell..."she started to say._

_He grinned like an idiot and brought up a guitar with him also. He started to play, and Yuuk was getting a bit creeped out. _

_Then, he started singing-_

she's gotta do what she's gotta do

and i've gotta like it or not

she's got dreams 2 big for this town

and she needs to give em a shot.

wherever they are.

looks like i'm all ready to leave,

nothing left to pack.

ain't no room for me in that car,

even if she asked me 2 tag along- "_WAIT!WHAT? Opps...sorry..wrong song.... " He then got a a piece of paper out from his pocket and started, all OVER AGAIN._

_"AHEM"_

- Hi Barbie!  
- Hi Ken!  
- You wanna go for a ride?  
- Sure, Ken!  
- Jump in!  
- Ha ha ha ha!

I'm a Barbie girl in my Barbie world  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic  
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation

Come on, Barbie, let's go party!-

_Yuuki was offically creeped out and screamed. She ran to the window and slammed it shut, causing the chairman to fall to the groud. In pain._

**STEP 9: If you think your Story isn't good enough, make the characters say different language's.**

To make it sound more....vivid, you can put in some foreign language in your text. Unless you don't know what it means...

_EX:_

_"Ohayo!(Japanese for hi)"Aidou cheerfully said._

_"..."Everybody looked at him wierdly._

_So he tried a different approach. "Guten-tag (German)?"_

_"..."_

_"Umm..Hola??(spanish)"_

_"Aloha?!?!?!"he shouted._

_"Hanabusa."Akatsuki said._

_"Huh?"_

_"Just speak fucking english."_

**STEP 10: The conclusion that probably will never happen.**

This will probably never happen but you can't help to dream right...?

_EX:_

_Kaname and Yuuki lived happily ever after and had 156 children. And they were given a certificate for being the 1st couple who populated a city. THE END._

**STEP 11: The last author's note.**

This is like the end to what you're saying. Like... saying that I appreciate you reading this.

_EX:_

_A/n: OMFG. That was so good *tear drop* My story was soooooo great. It was so perfect, that I could get a reward for it or something :D JK JK LOL _

_If you want me to continue with this story with the next chapter, REVIEW!!!! OR I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN AND MURRDDDEERR YOOUUUU!_

**STEP 12: Write how many reviews ****you want for each chapter you write.**

The step says it all.

_Ex:_

_Ok so like, if you want me keep writing, you better give me 1231847123462 reivews you losers. Or NO STORY._

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Well. I hope that helped in any way......see you later!

(Ask me if you want me to make another guide for a different anime or manga!!!)

-brianna(:


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